A Faith Builder?

Faith Builder?

I have been thinking about all this thyroid cancer stuff and how easy it has been to deal with. Things like finding a surgeon, making dozens--no, hundreds--of phone calls to people in nuclear medicine departments, at pathology labs, hospitals, medical centers, doctor’s offices, Aetna HMO people, ultrasound techs, etc…. The list is long.

Last week I started hearing myself say to people that this whole experience has been a faith builder, but then I realized when I said it to my mom today that it really isn’t my faith He’s building. Because faith is believing without seeing, as the sermon on Sunday reminded me. Faith is believing even though you have not seen.

“Jesus said to him, ‘Thomas, because you have seen me, you have believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.’
“And many other signs truly did Jesus in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book: But these are written, that you might believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God; and that believing you might have life through his name.
--John 20:29-30, American King James version

I have seen and therefore I believe more. He’s proving to me He’s real. He’s proving to me He’s in control. The more I let go, the easier it gets. The more I trust Him, the easier everything is. Red tape falls to the ground. Well-known USC surgeons who have no idea who I am drop whatever they’re doing on a Sunday afternoon to Blackberry me in response to an e-mail and say yes, they’d be happy to meet with me to evaluate my case.

How awesome is our God?

I’ll tell you how awesome. Awesome enough that I don’t have to worry whether I’ll be OK, whether I’ll survive the surgery, whether the scar will be gross, whether there will be complications. He is awesome enough that I can breathe through my nose for the first time in years. You have no idea how good this feels after a lifetime of sinus problems and almost always breathing through my mouth, waking up every morning with a bone-dry mouth and a nose full of snot and 50 sneezes to start the day. All this without Claritin! Imagine that!

I just can't contain my sheer joy at how God is working this out for me. I've never felt closer to Him, and I've never trusted Him more, and I told Jack all of this tonight, and it felt so good to witness to Jack (8 years old now, and he's been aware of the "cancer" thing from the start) directly and openly and honestly. There is so much good that can come out of trials, it's amazing. I hope and pray that I will continue to be a good example for my kids through this. To show them what it looks like when someone gives it to God, to show reliance on Him, to show complete openness to His will, WHATEVER THAT MAY BE.

Sometimes the Lord just has you opening your mouth and saying the name of Jesus a lot more than other times, and for me these are the times I rarely have it shut.